this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
When are your genitals available?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
