someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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