You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Randomize
