i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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