She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Alive.
So much puke
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
