Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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