Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
She needs sedatives and a leash
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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