Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
