I could make wine with my vomit
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
