i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.