im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
