College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
