I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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