she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.