I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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