I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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