Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
