Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
