OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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