can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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