It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Randomize
