What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
