my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
