Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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