I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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