I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
