shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
