Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
