You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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