I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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