Pregnant stripper...not hot.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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