I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
