Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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