I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
