Yo dont text me then not text me
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
