i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
