I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
so let's talk penis.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
