the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
