K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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