I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
