there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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