i always forget guys have bellybuttons
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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