Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
