Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
