you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
