I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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