it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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