You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I think I died a long time ago.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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