I cannot find my penis.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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