The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I got inside last night via doggy door
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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