Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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