i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
