if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
When did angry sex become our thing?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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