i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
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is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
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I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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