Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
