Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Randomize
