Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
