i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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