The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize