Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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