I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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