i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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