Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
