its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
