i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
