Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
