Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i came on her dog
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
