They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
