Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
